Will You Help Me Find Myself
by Brayschick
Summary: HGLM fic. 1st ever. hermione is surprised to see who the new DATDA teacher is. but can he help her find whats missing in her life or is he after something else. please R&R X
1. Only The Beginning

**Disclaimer : You know the drill!**

'**Will You Help Me Find Myself ? '**

Chapter One: Only the Beginning

Dinner would be served in ten minutes. Nothing could have been further from what she really didn't need at that moment in time. Her stomach was aching from the knots that it had twisted itself in. The whole situation she was in was completely taking over her every thought and action. Studies had always interested her ad she had always found them easy to deal with, more fun then work. The role of Head Girl had been something that she had strive for since entering the school. But for the past week nothing had been the way it used to. Since returning for her final year Hermione had found herself in an endless black hole of doubt and emptiness. Everyone around her had everything they had ever wanted. Even Neville had found himself getting good mark on his end of year exams. Harry was happy in his new relationship with Ginny and Ron was actually taking it well since he discovered a new love for Lavender, not just the flower. But the one thing that they all had in their lives that Hermione didn't have was someone to share it with. She had friend and they meant the world to her. But no on was exclusively hers. No one was their to simply hold her when she felt lost. No one carried her books to class or popped notes in her text book just to tell her that they cared. Classes simply blended into each other. Nothing made her want to jump for joy or stick her hand in the air to answer that one question that only she would know the answer to. Now sat her with the rest of her house Hermione looked at the food in front of her. For weeks she had just eaten enough not to rouse suspicion about her mental state.

A hand waved in her face. It was only then that she looked up. Ron was looking at her as though she had just fallen off her chair. Now Sat in the Gryffindor common room Hermione had hardly noticed Ron talking to her

'What?'

' You were well out of it then. I was talking to you for about five minutes and you just zoned out. Is everything okay? Is it Malfoy again? What's he done this time?'

Being the Head Girl Hermione was required to share accommodation with none other then Draco Malfoy. The one person on this planet that she would even spit on if he was ever set on fire. The feeling though was mutual which made them living in such close proximity a real challenge.

'Nothing. He hasn't done anything. It's just I have a lot on my mind that's all. I have this feeling that something really bad is coming. I don't know what but I can just tell.'

She wasn't lying she could feel this awful dread inside herself that something was going to happen and she didn't like it one bit. It The treat of Voldemort still lingered although nothing serious had happened in a few months. There had been no attempts on Harry's live or any other indication of the forces of evil getting closer. None of the school would be ready for something to come along now and ruin the peace and calm that had settled over Hogwarts.

'Your probably just looking for something bad. You do always plan ahead, maybe you just want to be ready for anything. It doesn't mean that anything bad is going to happen. Just relax and cheer up .You know that we are safe. Come on enjoy the food . Harry and I are going to have a game of Wizards chess after dinner if you want to watch? Ginny and Lavender are coming too!'

'No thanks wrong I might just go to the library and start on my potions essay for Snape. But thanks all the same. Maybe next time.'

Potions would be a great distraction for her. The essay she had been set was not particularly hard but a good concentration was always needed when doing school work however easy. Yet the nagging feeling that something was wrong still played on her mind. There was something coming but now Hermione could not tell if it was a bad or a god thing.

A/N First fic on this website do have some on others. Wasn't into Harry Potter till I read some of the fics on here so I thought I might aswell write one. Please review and tell me what you think. I promise it will get better as I get going.


	2. The Worst Day Ever

'**Will You Help Me Find Myself'**

Chapter Two: This Is The Worst Day 

Defence Against the Dark Art was it's usual boring self excepted for the part where the miniature Dragon that Starlight had brought in set him on fire. Its was only a small blaze but it had been the last straw in his eyes and he had quit there and then. Now sat with nothing to do for the next half hour Hermione's mind wondered to the future. Leaving Hogwarts had always seemed so far away even a few weeks ago, but with the outcome inevitable Hermione had to find something to set her sights on. Ron was probably going to on and become an expert in the Dragon field like all the other Weasleys and Harry was more then liking going to become an Aurora. Yet that left her with nothing. She was good at everything but there was no particular area that set her emotions stirring. She simply had luck warm feelings for all of them. Every teacher that she had talked to had told her the same thing

'You will be good at anything. Just choose something that you enjoy!'

Did they not understand that she was asking because she had no idea what she enjoyed anymore. A month ago she liked honey on her toast but now she really preferred strawberry jam although she was starting to take a liking to marmalade. Why did everything have to be complicated?

Now sat in the great hall for dinner Hermione over at the teachers sat along the head table beside her. They all seemed to be buzzing about something. After the Starlight incident a new Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher would have to found. Maybe they had already got someone to fill in! As long as Snape didn't get the job then she was happy. That would be her worst nightmare. Although the early feelings of admiration had now lacked into feelings of repulsion Snape was a great professor. His teaching skills although lacking in the teacher student bonding section he was fantastic at his job.

Draco reached across her dinner in order to pick up the last of the bread rolls. Being seated at the head table did have advantages though. They go the best view of the Great Hall in all its wonder. The house banners floating above each house table. The candles when it began to get darker. It was a privilege to be seated with some of the greatest well know wizards and witches of their life time. It was then that Dumbledore stood and cleared his throat.

'As you all know Professor Starlight had to leave us after an unfortunate incident with a Dragon. Due to that we currently have no Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher.

The room began to bubble with comments about the class being suspended till a replacement was found. Dumbledore cleared his throat and regained the attention of the room. Then continued in his soft shallow voice.

'That was until this afternoon when I received an owl from the Ministry stating that a replacement had been found and that they would be arriving at Hogwarts Around now.'

With that the doors to the great hall flew open and there in the pale candle light of the corridor stood a dark looming figure. Dressed in black velvet robes, head and face covered. The body moved gracefully through the centre of the room towards the Headmaster. When stood in front of the table a glove hand raised and slowly began to peel back the hood of the robe. Whispers started in the room. A gentle breath of words all mixed together wafted through the now slightly chilled room. Hermione felt the hairs on her neck stand on end as the hood finally fell. A head toped with silver hair shone in the suspended candle light. Grey eyes turned to the great hall. A gasp of surprise seemed to actually come for the room itself and no the inhabitants.

'As many of you are aware this is Mr. Lucius Malfoy. He shall be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher here at Hogwarts.'

As the words left Dumbledore's mouth those intense grey eyes suddenly fixed on a certain young lady in the room. Hermione could feel them on her staring right through her. Burning her inside up. She would have scream if not for the amount of people around her. Raising her head Hermione settled a glance at those eyes. They seemed to dance only for her. Like no-one else was there. This couldn't be happening Hermione could not be feeling something for this man, this Malfoy, this teacher


	3. It's All In TheEyes

'**Will You Help Me Find Myself'**

Chapter Three: Its All In The Eyes. 

Hermione rolled over under the soft velvet coverlet on her bed. She had attempted to fall into a restful sleep for nearly three hours, but it had avoided her. Slipping away at the last minute leaving her staring at the ceiling. Everytime her eyes closed so saw them. Looking directly at her. Peering through her very soul and into her heart. It was weird for a girl who believed in logic and circumstance that one should find ones self reliving a brief moment that may not have even been real. For all she knew Lucius could have been staring at Draco, who like all the others students had know nothing of his fathers position. Many of the students, especially those in Gryffindor believed that not only was Lucius a follower of Voldemort but also a death eater. One of the higher level death eaters to be exact.. Hermione couldn't believe that the Ministry would send a possible threat to wizarding kid into Hogwarts. They knew that this was where Harry Potter was. They had gone to great lengths to get him here. But the thought still played in her head. The feeling that something was wrong, the appearance of Lucius, and that look. There was something coming.

After only two hours sleep Hermione rose from her bed and headed for her bathroom. A quick shower and into her uniform before breakfast. The usual boring routine. Over the holidays Hermione had spent many hours searching for a hair spell that would transform her unruly locks into something tame and modest. She had been rewarded a week before returning with a spell that would do just that. A straightening spell that ensured that her hair would stay frizz free for a full 24 hours. Casting the spell Hermione checked her appearance in the mirror before leaving the room.

When entering the Great Hall Hermione noticed that the three seats at the end of the table where empty. Her normal seat, the seat of Draco and the place that which was usually reserved for Hagrid currently sat empty. Hagrid was now placed in the old spot of Professor Starlight. That would mean. _Ow my god I will be sat next to him. I will have him there. His body next to mine. I will............... _Her train of thought was broken when a hand was placed on her back. A voice sounded right next to her ear.

'It looks like I will have the pleasure of sitting next to you Miss. Granger. I would normally protest to being in anyway shape or form associated to a mudblood, but I think in you case I can make an exception. Shall we sit?'

Hermione needed that hand on her back otherwise she would have simply fallen to the floor in a heap. That voice was just like her dream. It was husky and sensual. Even with the use of the M word. He still made her shiver. Had he felt her reaction to his touch? Now seated next to this man Hermione was in a practical panic. Her blood was pumping in her ears, feeling slightly faint Hermione hardly noticed when the younger Malfoy sat on her other side. All the students were now entering the Great Hall. Hermione looked squarely at the plate in front of her. She couldn't meet the eyes of her fellow school mates. Neither did she want to run the risk of looking at Lucius The feeling he stirred inside her were not something that she wished to become public knowledge. She didn't even want to know herself. But those eyes. The grey almost steel look in them had set a fire in her stomach and no matter what she did to try and replace it, it still burned.

'By my records it appears that I have you in my class this morning Miss. Granger won't that be fun. You and me working closely together. I believe that as Head Girl you are always available to assist teachers in need and as im new I may rely on you to help me with a few areas that im not familiar with. Should we say tonight in my classroom you come and help me with a few important aspects.'

Hermione continued to stare at her plate. She simply nodded her head. What important aspects could they have to talk about. If he needed information he simply had to ask Draco. He was his son after all.


End file.
